The Scent of Winter
by EmeraldNorth
Summary: She didn't remember who he was, but he left a big, empty hole in her heart, and she never felt this alone before. Momo Hinamori suffers from amnesia after the Winter War and searches for the missing puzzle piece of her heart. [One-shot; Semi-AU; HitsuHina]
There was this feeling of emptiness inside her. She didn't know why, but ever since she woke up from her coma, something had been missing. No, not something, _someone._

Her eyes snapped open and she was drenched in sweat. Sometimes, she would have nightmares, but she could never see the faces of the people involved. Their voices were distorted, their shouts incomprehensible yet filled with pain, hurt, despair and panic. She would feel loneliness and betrayal wash over her. Then there would be one voice, one phrase she could understand. Every time she heard it her heart would break. She tried reaching out for the figure as it left her, it's silhouette disappearing in the distance, it's words ringing in her mind.

" _I'm so sorry, Momo."_

* * *

She stood up and headed towards the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror, instantly regretting it. It was truly a horrible sight to behold, her brown eyes seemed dull and lifeless, her skin was pale and there were smudges of black under her eyes indicating her insomnia. She sighed and fingered through her messy brown hair before getting dressed, slipping on her lieutenant badge and heading out to her office. She ignored the looks of pity she received from her fellow shinigami on the way there and thought back to how she had ended up in this situation. It didn't really help that nobody was willing to tell her anything.

When she had woken up, she had been greeted by Captain Unohana and Lieutenant Kotetsu. There was a name dancing at the tip of her tongue, but just as she wanted to say it, she had forgotten what it was. She had then asked Captain Unohana why she was in Division Four, but the only answer she had gotten was a sad smile. After realizing that she had lost quite a bit of her memory, the fourth division captain had asked her to list all of the high ranking shinigami she could remember. All started well and she was confident she knew all of the names, but at certain spots, her memory was hazy. She couldn't recall four of the captains… Third division, fifth division, ninth division… and tenth division… It really bothered her that she didn't know her own captain's name, or any of the other three, considering she was good friends with all of their lieutenants. When she inquired as to what happened, she had been told that her captain had died due to an injury in the world of the living, and somewhen along that mission she had suffered from a lethal strike that had put her in a coma. Unohana also told her that the divisions affected by her memory loss were currently without captains, so it wasn't important for her to know their names. She had accepted this as the truth, but curiosity got the better of her. Anybody she asked about her mission simply avoided it and changed the subject.

* * *

Every time she saw Rangiku, she would be greeted by a sad smile. The strawberry blonde seemed to be very busy lately doing her paperwork and that of her currently missing captain. The tenth division captain seemed to be the topic that she was being kept in the dark about the most. She even heard from Shuhei that she didn't go out drinking that much anymore. And sometimes, she would have blood-shot, swollen eyes, crying in her office when she thought nobody was listening. Upon squeezing out as much information from others as she could, she found out that the man she had fallen in love with and her captain, apparently Rukongai citizens, had left her behind. Losing two people who mean the world to you must be harsh… In times like those, the hole in Momo's heart seemed to throb and grow bigger.

* * *

Her friends were suddenly so overprotective of her. Renji and Shuhei always were checking on her mental state, checking on whether her memories had come back. Then there was Izuru. He seemed to be effected by her coma the most, she had heard that he had visited her quite often in Division Four, except when he wasn't allowed to, something she also never understood. Why wouldn't he be allowed to visit her? Once again, nobody had an answer for her. Izuru really was always near her, and it seemed he was constantly afraid of something happening to her. She had sensed that his worry for her surpassed that of a friend's, but her gut told her to just ignore it.

* * *

Then came the day the head captain had sent her to the World of the Living on a mission. After she opened the Senkaimon and passed through, she realized she must have ended up in the wrong destination. Her mission had been Karakura Town, but it seemed to her that she ended up in bustling city filled with bright neon lights. Somewhere there was a sign indicating her whereabouts. Tokyo. Rangiku had told her stories of the World of the Living a few times. She also didn't forget about Izuru asking the head captain whether he could accompany her, but for some reason she was quite happy that she was alone, even if she was utterly lost now. She hopped over rooftops and looked for a way to find where Karakura was. She stopped at a sky scraper, with a lone figure standing on the roof, watching the beautiful sunset. Somehow it made her feel nostalgic, like it was something that was part of her. She also thought that having a watermelon to eat would make this moment perfect. She'd never understand why she thought of a _watermelon_ of all things.

She decided to join the figure on the roof, curious as to how the sunset looked from there. Since she was in soul form the humans couldn't see her anyway. She landed on the roof and made her way next to the man standing there. The first thing she noticed about him was his unruly, uncommon white hair. It glowed in the disappearing sunlight. The next thing she noticed were his bright, turquoise eyes, staring at her wide eyed and full of shock.

It took her a moment to understand why he was looking at her.

"You… you can see me?" She was utterly confused, why was this human able to see her, and why did he look so sad? He answered her with a slow nod, still looking at her in disbelief.

"So… then I assume you can also see ghosts? I heard there were a handful of humans who could, so, erm..." He still didn't say anything, he just kept staring at her. She let out an awkward chuckle. Of all the humans to approach, she just had to pick the one with high spiritual energy… But if that was the case, why couldn't she sense anything from him?

She slowly but steadily explained the nature of soul reapers and Soul Society to him, and he just listened to her with the occasional nod. The sun continued setting, leaving them under the dark night sky. The city lights obstructed their view of the stars, but she didn't mind. She took the opportunity to examine his facial features and found a slight blush creeping up her cheeks once she realized that he was actually pretty good looking.

"So, that's about it. Oh and by the way, my name is Momo Hinamori." She didn't know why, but she smiled brightly at the stranger, even if he hadn't said a single thing to her since they met. The man looked at her outstretched hand, back to her face and sighed while running a hand through his hair. Then he took her hand and shook it.

"Toshiro Hitsugaya, pleased to meet you." The small smile on his face at that moment was filled with heart breaking sadness, just as his eyes were. But still, the sound of his voice was enough to make her heart skip a beat and she felt the hole in her heart close the tiniest of bits. His hand slipped out of hers and the hole widened again ever so slightly. She found herself missing the touch of his cold skin.

He lifted his hand to wave a goodbye before disappearing through the door that lead back into the building. He didn't turn back.

* * *

As it turned out, Division Twelve had made a mistake and opened another gate for Momo to go to Karakura Town. She stayed there for a few days, annoyed by the amount of hollow activity and was glad to be able to return home. Just as she was about to step through the Senkaimon, the image of a white haired man flashed through her mind, tugging at her heart. She dismissed it as curiosity and entered the Dangai.

She was greeted by a worried Izuru and Renji, who was trying to get him to calm down. She laughed at them, it was great to be home again. She headed to her office and sat down in order to write the report about her days in the World of the Living, pondering whether to or whether not to include her encounter with the human who could see her, deciding against it. For some reason, she didn't want anybody else to know about him.

* * *

She glanced at the time, remembering she still had plans to meet up with Renji, Shuhei and Izuru later. She had finished her report faster than she had expected to, so she decided to head over to the third division a bit earlier than planned, surely the others wouldn't mind. Just as she was about to knock at the door to the third division's lieutenant office, she overheard quite an interesting conversation. Against her better judgement, she found herself eavesdropping in on the conversation.

"-what if something happened? After all _he's_ currently in Tokyo, isn't he?" That was clearly Izuru's voice.

"Don't worry, I'm sure nothing happened, stop being so goddamn protective of her, even _he_ didn't show it that much while _he_ was around…" And that was Renji.

"But, but what if _he_ tried to approach her, you know how unpredictable _he_ can be at times, what if-"

"You better not let Rangiku hear you talk about _him_ like that, _he's_ still a sore topic around her. I'm positive that Captain Hit-Kuchiki knows better than to let Yachiru near his pond again."

At some point, Momo opened the door to the office and Renji's stumble of words didn't go unnoticed by her and once again, they changed the topic in Momo's presence. She decided to pretend that she hadn't noticed it and joined them with a cheery smile. They laughed and chatted together, and she told them everything from her mission, well, everything except the man with the strikingly turquoise eyes.

* * *

It was weird. Everywhere she went, she would notice small things that would always remind her of _him._ Winter was right around the corner and the sky was filled with clouds, the white ones the colour of his hair. She had only known him for no more than two hours, but she couldn't get him out of her mind. The sadness in his eyes rivalled that of Rangiku's. Once she had gone to the tenth division to bring over some paperwork and she had found her best friend kneeling on the ground, clutching a captain's haori in her hands. She was a sobbing mess. She kept mumbling "I'm so sorry, Captain, I'm so sorry, please, I'm so, so sorry..." through her tears.

Momo decided it was best to leave the stack of papers in front of her door. Rangiku needed some privacy right now. She turned to leave, but not before noting how the blue-green interior of that haori would have matched Toshiro's eyes.

Her nightmares didn't come as frequently as they used to, and when they did, she usually found solace in the peacefully falling snow outside. She found it funny, how she as a wielder of a fire type zanpakutou could relax in midst of the winter snow, but to her, there was something about the cold touch the snow flakes left on her skin that calmed her down. It reminded her of the feel of his skin when he had shook her hand all those months ago. Izuru had once found her outside, sitting on the roof in nothing but her sleeping yukata. The snow had gotten caught in her brown hair and her cheeks and nose showed hints of red. He had rushed to bring her a blanket and a towel and had asked her unbelievingly if she was crazy. Momo had simply smiled at him and told him that the cold and the snow comforted her. She didn't know why he looked so hurt and defeated in that moment.

Another time she, Renji, Izuru and Shuhei had been out at the market place in the Seireitei. While walking past the fruit stands, she asked her friends to wait for a moment before returning with a fresh watermelon. She later found out that Izuru really didn't like that fruit for some reason, but she really loved it, even if she couldn't recall why. She had brought some to Rangiku as well, but the tenth division lieutenant almost broke down in tears at the sight of the watermelon. She pulled herself together and accepted it with a sad smile. Momo felt horrible for not being able to cheer up her best friend and that she somehow only saw her depressed side lately.

* * *

Her thoughts of Toshiro kept swarming her mind. His sad smile. The loneliness in his eyes. Sometimes she contemplated returning to the World of the Living just to see him again. He really left an impression and she couldn't get him out of his mind. Soon she accepted reality and figured that since he was a human and she was a shinigami, nothing long-lasting could ever happen between them. He'd probably think she was weird to be so hung up about one meeting anyway.

At some point, she started looking for distractions, even considering giving dating Izuru a shot. But her gut immediately shot down that thought and dismissed it. After nothing helped at all, she decided to talk to the only person she could think of about it. Rangiku Matsumoto.

* * *

In deep thought, she entered Rangiku's office without knocking. She didn't see the buxom strawberry blonde close a certain book and attempt to hide it under all the paperwork she had lying around on her desk.

"Rangiku, I need to talk to you about something..." Momo sounded serious, and Rangiku understood. She stood up, closed the door and pulled out a bottle of sake from under the captain's desk, which was currently empty and tidy. She opened one of the drawers and took out two cups, setting the three items on the coffee table, inviting Momo to sit on the couch next to her.

"So, Momo, what's up? We haven't talked like this in a long time, have we?" The sad smile was back. Forgetting about the white-haired human for a moment, she prioritized her friend's happiness.

"Rangiku… why are you always so sad lately? Is it about your friend from the Rukongai? Or is it about your captain?" The blonde visibly flinched at the mention of her captain. Momo knew she was being blunt, but she was tired of people keeping things from her, so she wasn't going to give up so easily this time. Rangiku took the sake bottle, opened it and started drinking directly from it. She set the bottle back on the table before returning her attention to the brunette next to her.

"I miss him, I miss them both, I-I-I just want him to stop being such an idiot and come back! I know he- I know he had his reasons to leave, but still, I-" She started crying again and fell into Momo's arms. The brunette held her friend close while rubbing circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her. She continued talking while sobbing, tears soaking Momo's outfit. "He-he just d-doesn't realize that his path of self-torture is doing everybody more harm than good! He's such an idiot! Baka! Leaving all this paperwork for me! Leaving you behind like that! J-Jerk!" Momo couldn't understand half of what her best friend was saying but just kept hugging her.

After Rangiku had run out of tears she excused herself to wash up quickly, pointing at her mascara which coloured her cheeks blackish grey.

* * *

Momo took the opportunity to tidy up Rangiku's desk a bit. She cleanly stacked up the paperwork and continued to sort them by priority. While working on the last stack, she stumbled upon a thick, worn book. She opened it out of curiosity and gasped at her discovery. It was a photo album with pictures of Rangiku from when she first became a soul reaper. She used to have chin-lenghth hair and her pink scarf had been tied around her neck. There were a few pictures of her with a black- haired man who had a captain's haori tied over his shoulder. One of them depicted him giving her a bottle of sake with a wide smile. There was a small comment written underneath the picture, reading ' _Captain Shiba remembered my birthday!'_ Momo skipped a few pages of pictures of the Division Ten from those days, but she suddenly stopped at a flash of white. There, standing between Captain Shiba and Lieutenant Matsumoto stood a short boy with an annoyed expression on his face and his arms crossed. The strawberry blonde had her arm propped on the boy's head and was grinning. But what really caught Momo's attention were his turquoise eyes and his white, messy hair. She read what the neat handwriting under the picture spelled out. Then she read it again, just to be sure.

 _'It's awesome making fun of Toshiro's height. He looks too cute when he's annoyed'_

Her heart beat sped up. It couldn't be a coincidence. She skipped a few more pages until she found what she didn't know she was looking for. It was a picture of Rangiku standing next to the boy from the other picture. His hair had grown longer and spikier. This time he had a sword strapped over his back and was wearing the tenth division captain's haori. He still looked pretty annoyed.

 _'Say hello to_ _grumpy_ _Captain Hitsugaya!'_

She turned the page once more and completely forgot how to breath when she saw the picture. It was her, Momo Hinamori, pulling the shorter, taken by surprise white-haired boy into a crushing hug, wearing the biggest smile imaginable. She glanced to the comment.

 _'Momo-chan congratulating her Shiro-chan'_

She heard the sound of something dripping on the paper only to find them to be her tears. She mustered all her courage and skipped a few pages. She didn't realize that her tears seemed to double in amount at the next photograph.

The white-haired boy had grown into an exact look-alike of the Toshiro from the World of the Living and was holding her princess-style, a soft amused smile ghosting on his face. Momo was blushing furiously while her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck. The captain's haori fluttered in the wind, exposing the blue-green interior. Peach blossoms swayed down from the tree in the background. His white hair was less spiky and some strands fell across his eyes, but the caring look was still visible.

 _'I spy two UTTERLY DENSE LOVE BIRDS IN DENIAL!'_

Momo let out an audible sob. She sunk to her knees, hugging herself in a desperate attempt to get over the loneliness. She knew. She knew why her heart had that big gaping hole. She knew why she felt so empty inside. She knew why he had looked so heart broken when they had met in Tokyo. She knew why she loved the snow. She knew why she enjoyed watermelons in the sunset. She knew it was because she loves him.

* * *

She stood up and rushed out the door, running past a confused Rangiku. The tenth division lieutenant spotted the photo album open and realized what had happened. She dropped the bottle of sake she was holding and ran after her fellow lieutenant.

Momo remembered everything now.

 _Sousuke Aizen, her former captain, traitor to Soul Society. Deceased._

She bumped into a few tenth division shinigami, almost toppling them over. They were shocked by her tear-stained face, especially when their own lieutenant came following her with determination all over her face.

 _Kaname Tousen, Shuhei's former captain, traitor to Soul Society. Deceased._

She picked up her pace, speeding towards the Senkaimon, leaving baffled shinigami in her wake. Amongst those were Izuru and Renji. The blonde third division lieutenant attempted to follow her, but was held back by his red-haired friend, who only silently shook his head. He had seen where she was headed, and they both knew it had only been a matter of time. Rangiku ran past them, flashing Izuru an apologetic smile.

 _Gin Ichimaru, Izuru's former captain and Rangiku's loved one, traitor to Soul Society. Deceased._

She pushed the guards of the Senkaimon aside and was just about to enter when a hand gripped her shoulder. She turned around to face her best friend. She looked serious and sad, but there was also hope in her facial features.

"He left because he couldn't forgive himself for what happened to you. What he did to you. He saw your memory loss as his punishment and left for the World of the Living." A lone tear rolled down her cheek. "Please bring my captain back to us. We need him, and you're the only one who can." She loosened her grip on Momo's shoulder and let her pass through the gate.

 _Toshiro Hitsugaya, Rangiku's captain. Alive. The man I love._

* * *

She ran through the Dangai and jumped out on the other side, finding herself staring at the neon night lights of Tokyo once more. She reached out and tried to find his spiritual pressure, picking it up close to a hollow. She flash stepped over to the source, feeling Hyourinmaru's soothing cold aura. She arrived at the scene, the hollow disappating into dust, a tall figure holding a long sword in his right hand, white hair gleeming in the moonlight and a white captain's haori flowing in the wind. She could clearly recognize the 'Ten' on it's back and the blue-green interior material.

He turned around and looked at her, the sad, heart broken look back on his face. He was just about to leave without saying a word when Momo leapt forward and grabbed his wrist. He saw her tears now.

She wanted to shout at him, scream at him, smack him senseless for being an idiot, but instead...

"Please… please don't leave me again..." Her words came out in a soft whisper, but she knew he heard every single word. "Please, I need you… Shiro-chan."

She heard his breath hitch and his body tense. He avoided her gaze. "Momo...I..."

She didn't want to hear his excuses, they didn't matter. Nothing else mattered right now, because he was here. He was here with her, and no matter what he said or did, she was never letting go of his hand ever again. She would make him stay.

"I don't care about what you have to say, just know that I forgive you, and I love you, god, I've loved you for so long, and I never knew how much being away from you would hurt, and the heartache ju-" The tears just kept flowing and she felt his free arm come around and pull her body closer to his. She started sobbing into his haori while he nuzzled his face into her hair.

"Pshhhhh, please Momo, stop crying, you know I hate it when you cry..." He gently released his wrist from her grip and cupped her face with his hands. He looked her straight in the eyes, her brown ones swelling with tears, his turquoise ones letting go of all the barriers he had put up over the years. Now they were here, just two people, no responsibilities, no ranks, no wars, just two people who loved each other.

She found the sound of his voice comforting, it was something she had been longing for without being aware of it. His eyes were honest and sincere, no fake mask put on. She could see the hurt in them more clearly then ever, but there was also hope. She reached up and took his face into her hands, smiling softly at him. She closed the gap between them and felt herself melt into the kiss. She didn't need his approval, she didn't need his confirmation. She saw it in his eyes, next to the hope, there was unconditional love. He didn't need to voice it out, she knew he loved her just as much as she loved him. His lips moved against hers and his hands slid down in order to pull her closer to himself.

And with the kiss, the hole in her heart, along with the emptiness, suddenly disappeared.

* * *

 **AN: My mom walked into my room while I was writing this and asked me why I looked like I was about to cry... awkward, I know. Anyway, all's well that ends well :) This was inspired by jumbling together ideas from different fics I read over time... Hope you enjoy and letme know what you think :)**

 **Oh yeah, I still don't own Bleach.**

 **~Emi**


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